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Monday, May 23, 2011

The Minds Inner Light Globe - Flick On, Flick Off

This week I took lots of deep breaths. 
Some days Motherhood has to be the most frustrating and trying occupation.
Selective deafness is rife in my house. I have learnt that no matter how loud I yell or scream or rant or rave about anything really, it all falls on deaf ears unless, of course, I said something along the lines of  " Mum's going to McDonalds" then I might just get a response from my youngest though the eldest may still not have responded.
Happy Meals can be the best bribery ! 
At the age of 13,  my Teenager's bribery expectations seem to have hit a high, where a mere Happy Meal doesn't even rate a mention. These days he aims for an extra hours play on the X-Box or,  as a long shot,  phone credit only issued as a form of pocket money for which the dishes must be put away each day and the garbage taken out, both I might add, I still need to remind him to do daily. After years of wall charts & reward schemes I am now at the point of 2 words..... "Ben Dishes" or "Ben Rubbish".  Short & sweet without much dialogue. 
As for my 5 year old, my greatest ask from him is that he " Listens, Focuses & Tries Really Hard " and this has become our catch phrase for most things, both at home & for school.  A tough call in a household of selective deafness !!
So what does a mother do ????   I must admit when I was married my husband would always reinforce "Boys , Listen to your mother" & that reinforcement was productive & appreciated ! When I say get things done, I only mean the general things that need doing as a way of life such as getting in the bath, homework, taking the lunch box out of the school bag, or go to bed on time to sleep.... The normal daily tasks that aren't brain surgery but must be  just as difficult to complete for my children.
Now as the world turns and our children get older you would think that after years of repeating ourselves, we mothers ( & fathers ) would have made some inroads into the minds of our children... wishful thinking on our part  ?  Well I'm completely convinced, particularly in my teenagers case, that his inner "lightglobe" is still completely switched off.   I'm sure looking forward to the day it turns on &  lights up his mind & my life !!!  

So now I go forward about 70 years to my adorable & much loved In-Laws. Regardless of my separation they have always been a big part of all our lives & the boys adore their  Nanny & Pa.  Sadly after a fall, Pa has deteriorated somewhat and is a hospital inpatient, leaving Nanny, after 62 years of marriage, on her own. Lucky their son, Rod,  only lives a few streets away, as am I, cause being independant as she is, Nanny would much rather stay in her own home than come & live with any of us. This week has unfortunately made us all realise that old age & maybe a little trauma from Pa's absence, has dimmed her inner light globe to the point of early dementia. Physically she is amazingly fit for a woman in her 80's  & it seems so odd that virtually overnight her memory has deteriorated so rapidly.  It must be so frustrating for her ... even so much more than it is for all of us that answer her questions a hundred times over. I remember my own Nan being ever so similar & she would laugh when we'de declare she'de already told us that !   My Nan was so little & had such a lovely sense of humour & I see my children's Nanny following the same path as my own did. The saddest thing is eventually as the minds lightglobe dims & darkens we can only watch her disappear from knowing us at all.                                                             Bless them - Nanna's hold our hands for a little while, but our hearts forever. 
So in writing this entry I realise I'm wishing my oldest sons Inner Light Globe would flick on, my youngest sons would flick off & go to sleep at bedtime, and their lovely Nanny's would eliminate and shine forever.

                                    ***   Thats a Light Globe Moment for me  ***

3 generations.... Nanny, Rod &  Grandsons

        With Love

     xxx   Ms V   xxx

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